first me and then the baby.

So I know it is time for the 24 week post, but I don't want to do that right now. First I want to talk about how I haven't had a cigarette in 38 hours 8 minutes. My sinuses feel full and I can't stop coughing... AWESOME! Not to mention that if I've seen you I've wanted to punch you in the face, 9 minutes. the most terrible thing about quitting is that you know damn well how to fix your malady, smoke a goddamn cigarette. I want to cuss people out right now. I think its best i bite my tongue. I'm going to be working at my professor's house today in order to complete a paper by Sunday. Happy Halloween to fucking me!

23 Weeks

So I'm a little sad today. Turns out my baby is the size of a mango (roughly 13 inches and 1.1 pounds) and mango is in the same family as poison ivy. I tried to find a weight conversion that consisted of finding out how much one leaf of poison ivy weighs and then noting that goats will graze on poison ivy I had an idea. I looked up a popular docile dairy goat breed that has found its way into the hearts of Maine farmers, Oberhasli, and the typical goat of this breed needs about 5-6 pounds, says 5.5, of dry food a day. I was going to see how much my baby's worth of poison ivy could feed said goat in a day. THEN I knew that this goat can produce as much as 4655 pounds of milk a year (this is roughly 1034 Gallons). Now a gallon of milk is about 16 cups and a serving size of Lucky Charms has a serving size of about 1 cup. So suppose you like your cereal to milk at a 2:1 ratio then this goat can produce enough milk for 33088 bowls of Lucky Charms. I was going to cut this by the amount of Poison Ivy my baby would be and then draw the conclusion of how many people my baby could supply with 83% of their daily allowance of Riboflavin (based on a 2000 calorie diet of coarse). **ANOTHER EDIT: So turns out I'm a moron, i don't need to know the weight of a leaf. Suppose a goat ingests my baby's weight in poison ivy, this is about 20% of his daily feed in a day. In one day the goat may produce 2.8 gallons, not accounting for leap years. 20% of that production is .56 gallons or 9 cups. This would correspond to 9 people who can get their Riboflavin from Lucky charms... AWESOME.**

Instead I went with something more mundane. My baby weighs 1.1 pounds which may be transformed into 7700 Grain, a very precise measurement of gun power. A common round now found in M16s is the 5.56mm which comes in 10 round "stripper clips" (a small piece of metal that holds the bottoms of each round). Each of the 5.56mm rounds is 77 grain so my baby, if he were made of gunpowder could arm 100 soldiers with a clip for their M16, or probably more practically arm 5 soldiers with 20 clips.

After thinking about the gunpowder conversion I found out that typical "old-school" gun powder is 73% Saltpeter (this makes my baby .803 pounds of saltpeter if he were again composed of gunpowder). Alton Brown, one of my favorite foodies, has a recipe for Corned Beef that calls for 2 tablespoons saltpeter for a 5 pound brisket. Alas, i couldn't find out how much 2 tablespoons of saltpeter weighs so I couldn't find out if my baby's .803 pounds of saltpeter could brine my 220 pounds if I were a brisket. I'm guessing it could and then some, but I wanted to be sure.
**EDIT: So I found out, through the guidance of Lydia that Saltpeter is 2.109 g/cubic cm. Doing all the necessary conversions results in my baby's .803 pounds being able to brine 29 pounds of brisket for corned beef.**

Conversations.

I've noticed recently that I am incapable of wanting to discuss anything but my baby. He isn't even born yet. Golly gee willikers! It is kinda funny what me sort of prepping myself for fatherhood and my impending career as a professor have done to me. I've become absolutely infatuated with mentoring and advice giving. I'm sure many find my constant suggestions annoying, but I feel like I cannot help it. Soon there will be a little dude asking me the craziest questions.

Another funny thing that has been hitting me is Halloween. This holiday is going to rock so hard it hurts for like the next 15 years or so. Next year I have 3 costume designs:

1. I dress like a Gundam and the baby like my pilot and I carry him in a harness.
2. I dress like a fighter jet and the baby, in a harness, like a missile.
3. Lydia, Me and the baby dress like Olive Oil, Popeye and Swepea.

That is all I can think of now. My bet is that by next Halloween we will just be happy to put the baby in a silly costume and carry him around a bunch. I think it would be awesome if EVERY day he was in a halloween costume except for October 31st itself. hehe talk to you later guys.

Building off of yesterday

The new Hummer 2 has 325 horsepower at 5200 rpm, 1 horsepower is 33000 foot-pounds/min. My baby is about a foot long and weighs about a pound. Thus a Hummer 2 has the required power to fully displace my baby 10,725,000 times in one minutes. Let the first displacement go up one foot from zero, then back down to zero, then down to negative one foot and then back to zero. this corresponds to 2,681,250 cycles per min. This translates into 44687.5 Hz, roughly the highest frequency you find in dog whistles.

baby update

My baby weighs a pound... yeah that's it a pound.

Musak

Ask anyone what kind of music genre they are into and if they're hip they will tell you Underground ______. You know underground hiphop, underground rock, underground metal etc. I've decided that 2 genres are probably left untouched and need to be explored: underground pop and underground muzak. Just think of the walking contradiction that is underground pop. Popular music that people don't know about! That is hipper than hip. But maybe college rock would probably fall under that category.

Muzak, for those who don't know, is the genre of music where bands redo popular songs for use in elevators and such. Well i guess they've expanded services since the 80's but the core is still the same. Underground Muzak would involve taking songs that no one actually knows about, and may potentially be quite good and then remaking them to target specific audiences or movement apparatuses (elevators). Just a musing about music.

Faithful followers.

So faithful readers... yes both of you. Sorry it has been a while since I've written. I've been a little busy with school and shit. It is official that I will be doing thesis work on consensus modeling which i'm currently finding pretty exciting. I'm also doing some research in expression of networks in some very cool ways (as Rank 1 matrices and such).

My baby is 20 weeks old. That is 10.5 oz. and 10 inches head to toe (it isn't curled up as much any more so measurements don't need to be made head to bottom). Supposedly that is the length of a banana. I worked it out. My baby weighs as much as about 66 cubic centimeters of titanium. This is about half the average precipitation in Osaka. So if it rained titanium for 6 months, then a measurer thingy (I can't find a technical term) would collect my baby's current weight. RAD.