New blog

New blog at http://scientificoddity.blogspot.com/.

Ha!

So alot of people have weighed in on whether or not people need strollers. I've decided to forgo a stroller, harness or wrap and go with this post apocalyptic number. Be careful when you enter a room with my baby and I, you may enter but you may not leave.

ummm

Belation due to stress. And no belation is not a word. more to come soon.

A rat?

Pheonix, and the east valley, has this unusual quality of randomly smelling REALLY badly. You'll be walking along and then suddenly there is poop in your nose. Go to the same spot tomorrow and no biggie. Well today walking home I smelt what had to be 100 pounds of jack cheese being thrown into a swimming pool of slow boiling butter. I'm hungry.

A bit on the conversion

So the last conversion can be worded as such. Take the pressure one experiences on the deepest part of the Mariana trench. Not stack enough 1"x1"x14", one and two-thirds pound cucumbers until the pressure exerted in the same. No slice all those cucumbers into 1/2" slices and put 16 to a cucumber sandwich with 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise. All that mayonnaise would require a number of eggs that could be used to vaccinate the aforementioned populations against the flu.

Week 26

So before I start I want to say that on hunting for information on the vegetable of the week I ran into a good man with a similar thought on this whole fauna-to-flora comparison thing as I. Also his little girl is beautiful and going through a tough time right now, my thoughts go out to you. But alas I have some baby unit conversions to commit good sir!

One and two-thirds pounds, 14 inches head to heel and english hothouse cucumber. Cucumber is such a silly word to type because the first two syllables start with cu but sound different. Amazing what a little m can do.

So anyway you'd be surprised on where my brain will take us today, I know I was. For the record my conversions, except for next week's, are not premeditated and I just kind of go where my will takes me. Now pay attention because this one is tough. Consider the baby-cucumber of 14"X1"X1" and weighing in at 1.66 pounds (my little stegosaurus with the base measurement approximated to be like the cucumber). So if he stood on you he'd impart .1134 Atmospheres of pressure. The Mariana trench at its deepest is roughly 36,200 feet. So at the bottom you'd experience 15693.43 pounds of water or 1067.58 atmospheres of pressure (of coarse in addition to the 1 from the atmosphere itself). So, 1 atmosphere of pressure is 8.82 babies. So 9416 babies would impart the same force as the Mariana trench's deepest spot! That is 2.08 miles of babies.

BUT I'M NOT DONE!

A slice of bread is roughly 10 cm by 11 cm, say 4 inches square. A cucumber roughly 1 inch by 1 inch could thus have 16 slice fit on this slice for a cucumber sandwich. Ooooooh boy this is awesome you just wait. Let's be generous and but 1/2" slices on this sandwich. I can make 16478 cucumber sandwiches with the aforementioned9416 14"x1"x1" cucumbers (yes I switched from baby to cucumber). Each of these sandwiches needs mayonnaise, say a serving size of 1 tablespoon. A standard recipe for a cup and a half (24 tablespoons) of mayonnaise calls for 2 eggs. That is 1374 eggs. HAHAHA this is the best part.

With that many eggs one could manufacture flu vaccine for the entire population of any of the following EXACTLY:
Eatonville , WA in 1990
Dawson, MN in 2007
Glade Spring, VA unsure of date
Woodland Hills, UT also unsure
Fethard, Ireland in 2006
The asian population of Studio City, CA in 2006 (holy fuck that one is making me laugh)
The Valera Fratta commune in Valera Venezuela in 2006
Ronbinsonville, Mississippi not sure of the date
I'm sure there are more but I'm bored with looking now. HA! hope you enjoyed.

Health Insurance

I know you are excited but the baby conversion is going to have to wait. Thar be dumb people afoot! So I've been reading the hubbabaloo about going to jail because you don't have health insurance. This is of coarse retarded. The obvious parallel is with driver's insurance. If you get pulled over without it the fine is usually 100-500. If you are a habitual offender you could have your license suspended, car impounded and could face steep fines. If you get in an accident you have to pay for everything and could face serious jail time. I don't find this odd. Nor do you (probably).

Now the top commenter at ABC site of sitedness has pointed out that he has always taken care of his own health issues and has never used hostipals and the such. Then guess what. You are a person who walks, bikes and takes the bus everywhere. You don't own or drive a car and thus the system is irelevant to you, unless you ever get hit by a car (i.e. have something really life threatening you can't fix) and then you hope to hell the people who need to be insured are (the driver in the case of the hit, and you in the case of something else life threatening).

I think this panic is another fine example of fear stirring, boat rocking, and general I'm-not-happy-so-I'm-going-to-fuck-with-my-opponentry. A buddy of mine I play WoW with broke his space bar and so he typed with the hyphen in place of the space. It was hard to tell when he was being clever.

Running

So I went "running" last night. What that means is for 1 hour I was out in running shorts, a t-shirt, sneakers, and a ball cap with my headphones in walking very quickly, lightly jogging, or the occasional sprint. I hurt.

ugh...

Working with CCC, watching Larry King, and thinking that Mark Obama Ndesandjo, other than when he is sincere about abuse, is kinda a tool. The abuse is terrible, but he sounds like a shadow of his brother.

Comedic 4th wall

I feel like my blog is a method through which I do comedy from inside a sound proof box with black painted walls with a microphone. Now i know why they invented the Laugh Track.

25 Weeks

I have no idea what is wrong with this god damn baby site. It says that the little guy is roughly the size of a rutabaga. A rutabaga! A cross between a cabbage and a TURNIP! Again with the turnip. Sigh. So the statistics on my baby's size are going to have to wait. Cabbage is cool. In french men have a little sweet nothing they say to their lovers "Ma petite chou", translated "My little cabbage". It is supposed to imply honest love. And if you remember the cereal conversion we are back on Riboflavin (Cabbage is a good source of this). And according to Wikipedia's article on cabbage

Some claim it is effective in relieving painfully engorged breasts in breastfeeding women.

This I find terribly terribly humorous. Rutabaga I guess had a good reputation until about WW1 where it became a food of last resort. The baby site should take such things into consideration when attaching a size to my baby. For we all must admit that '[we] have one language but it is not [ours]" -Vaguely from Jacques Derrida.

So... My baby is about 13 inches, a baker's dozen of inches if you will allow me the weird turn of phrase. Cool idea on the origin of Baker's Dozen, of coarse stolen from Wiki:

The oldest known source and most probable origin for the expression "baker's dozen" dates to the 13th century in one of the earliest English statutes, instituted during the reign of Henry III (1216-1272), called the Assize of Bread and Ale. Bakers who were found to have shortchanged customers could be liable to severe punishment. To guard against the punishment of losing a hand to an axe, a baker would give 13 for the price of 12, to be certain of not being known as a cheat. Specifically, the practice of baking 13 items for an intended dozen was to prevent "short measure", on the basis that one of the 13 could be lost, eaten, burnt, or ruined in some way, leaving the baker with the original legal dozen. The practice can be seen in the guild codes of the Worshipful Company of Bakers in London.

Bitsy, the next potential worlds smallest cat, is 6.5 inches tall and weighs 1.5 pounds. So my baby, standing if he could, would stand at twice the height, but at the same weight of the world's smallest cat. I know I'm lazy... I got distracted by turnips.